TEACHER:   Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?

CINDY:         You told me to do it without using tables!

TEACHER:   What is the chemical formula for water?

SARAH:       "HIJKLMNO"!!

TEACHER:   What are you talking about?

SARAH:       Yesterday you said it's H to O!

TEACHER:   George, go to the map and find North America.

GEORGE:    Here it is!

TEACHER:   Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?

CLASS:       George!

TEACHER:   Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".

ELLEN:        I is...

TEACHER:   No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."

ELLEN:        All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

TEACHER:   Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?

JOHNNY:      Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day same time.

TEACHER:   George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.

                    Now, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

JOHNNY:      Because George still had the axe in his hand.

At a church school gathering, one little old lady approached a cute 5-year-old girl and asked her where she got her good looks.

"I musta got 'em from my Daddy," said the little girl, "'cause Mommy's still got hers."

TEACHER:   Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?

STUDENT:    Brotherly love.

TEACHER:   Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?

SAM:           No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

TEACHER:   Desmond, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

DESMOND:  No, teacher, it's the same dog!

TEACHER:   What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

PUPIL:          A teacher.